astrologyexplained:

1. Taurus – Simply the best, hands down. Head and shoulders above everyone else. Determination, extreme focus and goal attainment are all part of this sign’s personality. Once a Taurus sets his/her mind to doing something, there is nothing in the universe that can stop them. They will pursue their identified goal until it is reached – even if this comes at great personal sacrifice (health, relationships, etc). They’re determined, stable, they prefer simplicity, and they’re goal driven They have a thing for beauty. Creative and talented. They don’t complain and they’re not precious or delicate. The women generally are good with finances, independent, intelligent, and have an undeniable but reserved earthy femininity and sensuality. Definitely much more a fan of the males than the females, though. The men are my kryptonite. My thirst is real for Taurus men. The men are very protective of me and strong. Generally don’t like to start or have arguments. Equanimous. Sexy as hell. Tough, hard-hearted, extremely helpful, forgiving. Don’t take them for granted. Don’t fuck with them. EVER. Protect at all costs. Logical. Stable. Steady as a rock…there’s just something about them that makes me feel safe and secure. No bullshit with them. Taurus guys are earthy, lusty, manly, sensual, affectionate, and ooze sexuality. They’re also charming, magnetic, independent, genuine, great listeners, sexy, charismatic. Taurus men tend to be gentle and tolerant of others, with a strong sense of honour and integrity. They’re honest, communicative (but not annoyingly so), expressive both verbally and physically. The men are emotionally and mentally stable and smart. They’re possessive but not jealous. They are also rather dominant but mostly in the bedroom. Taurus men are the epitome of what I find truly sexy in a man. They’re practical and have an above average level of common sense. They’re about action, not words, and I love that about them. You could throw anything at them and they’ll handle it with strength, intellect, and class. They’re kind-hearted, generous to those they care about, and extremely focused. They love deeply and completely and are highly successful in business and financial ventures. My best friend, a couple of my very very close friends as well as my father happen to be Taureans. They really make me feel special, so seriously thanks to all the Taurus men for being who they are. Lovely, lovely guys. My favourite earth sign.

2. Aquarius – Cool, detached, aloof, and cerebral, just like me. The geniuses of the zodiac, by far. Visionaries. Impartial and original. Objective. Independent and individualistic. At peace with themselves. Weird. Frequently labeled “cold”, although I love it. Their adaptability and humanitarianism is admirable. They take all sorts of people as they are and I love this about them. Curious. Charismatic. God-complex. Unconventional. Loyal people. Open-minded. Rational. Not precious or delicate. Leaders. Some of the kindest people I know. Its not a smothering kind that freaks one out,its a pure, no silly intention type of kindness that is so soft, but still leaves a mark. And to me, they’re easy to understand – they care, but they also want their own separate lives. It’s lovely. There’s an Aqua girl I used to work with; she’s a really smart girl and everything that comes out of her mouth is interesting and hilarious. Although I liked her, it was usually from a distance because I could never tell if she really liked me as a potential friend. Yet there were times when I was the indirect target (by a Leo) in our meetings, and the Aqua always came by and subtly let me know in various ways that she cared. It was weird, but it was like she never wanted me to feel alone or bad, and I always appreciated that. It’s like we can’t say more than a few words to one another without quickly going back into our “own” space, and I’m thinking that’s maybe because we possibly felt our individuality would be threatened in some way if we got too close, and also maybe we retreated because we both were/are sensitive to the other, but we supported each other on a deeper and more emotional level. It’s hard to explain, but yeah, that’s been my experience. My older brother, whom I love more than anything, is one. More than a few of my favourite associates are Aquarians. What’s not to like? Hands down my favourite air sign.

3. Capricorn – They’re the hardest workers, they have high standards, and they’re pretty engaging; extremely intelligent and have an interesting way of drawing you in. Regal. Never loses their cool unless there’s a valid reason. Witty. I’m totally in love with their ambition. Have been labelled as “mean” or “loners”, but I have a general respect for them, even if I don’t like some of them. Quiet leaders. Untrusting like me. Also equanimous. Patient and calm. They’re bosses. Thinks in advance. Not to be fucked with. Doesn’t let get things get under their skin, very classy and tough like that. Sensible. Pragmatic and practical, but also can be a bit fanciful. The females are very feminine and have great taste in clothing. The men are in control and more often than not, CEOs. The men also make me feel so protected. Two very good friends are Caps. The Cap girls I know are really selective over their friends; they won’t talk to everyone for the sake of it…if they don’t like you or find you interesting then they probably won’t say a word to you or look at you. But they’re all funny, classy, and grounded and I love that. They possess winner’s minds; look at the late David Bowie: classic example of why Capricorns are the shit.

4. Sagittarius – You’re assholes, but you’re my kind of assholes; you’re blunt, you don’t sugar-coat the truth and you people are just brilliant. Absolutely hilarious. Funniest sign in the zodiac. Love having fun with them because their confidence is infectious and inspiring. Not gonna kiss your ass. Brutal. Insensitive. Sometimes downright inhumane. Sociable. Go-getters. They’re about their freedom and their power. It’s onward and upward with these folks and I respect that. Tends not to hold grudges (something I need to work on). They use their asshole-ism for good and for things that make sense (instead of evil and general bullshit like Scorpios do). Will speak their mind even (and especially) if it hurts your feelings. I love it. A couple of very good acquaintances are Sags. The only fire sign that I can stand.

5. Libra – Also protect at all costs. Love, love, love. Complete cinnamon rolls and are diplomatic, charming and fair. Tendency to be lookers. Great friends. Terrible flirts. Intellectual savages. Great personalities. Fun. Love getting guys with these ladies. When we choose to go out, we shut it down in a club and all eyes are on us. Also love how peaceful and easygoing they can be. Warrior’s mentality with a poet’s soul. They tend to be a doormat at times, tend to enjoy being volatile shit-starters on occasion (especially the females), and tend to be liars as well. Usually have good intentions. Indecisive, just like Pisces, but unlike Pisces, their indecisiveness is in a charming, yet slightly maddening way. More often than not, a pleasure to deal with. Another close friend and a few dear acquaintances are Libras. My kind of folks.

6. Gemini – Paraphrasing from Joni Mitchell’s song “Help Me”: “[They] love their lovin’/ But not like they love their freedom”…engaging and usually intelligent conversationalists. An ex-roommate is one. Charming, if not a bit fake, flighty, and two-faced. On the other hand, Stevie Nicks. Marilyn. Fetty Wap. I like that they keep things light and hate dealing with too much emotion, although their “lightness” tends to border on the superficial and shallow. Adventurous. Craves variety. Batshit crazy. Liars. Fucked up when drunk. The children of the zodiac, by far. I mean, bipolar creatures; their mood swings make them excellent case studies. Totally schizophrenic, they specialize in mind games and are the best players, hands down. Flaky. Thirsty as hell. Desperate for attention. These people have issues. Sociable and tend to be very popular for whatever reason. No slouches for sure, they’re definitely entertaining if nothing else.

7. Leo – They remind me of the famous line that Jareth said to Sarah in Labyrinth: “I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.” LOL. Overrated. Unconscionably selfish. Some of them are cool, but for the most part, I’m not impressed. A cousin that I used to be close with is one, we don’t really talk as much anymore, since I’ve outgrown her due, in part, to her tendency to be a bit jejune and silly as well as a drama queen. On the other hand, J. Lo. Jackie O. Kate Bush. They’re sexy, stylish and entertaining, but they’re just short-term/one-night stand material to me; they’re quite pretentious, have delusions of grandeur, and a bit sensitive for me (can’t take criticism, too dramatic, etc.) and as such, there’s nothing of real substance there with them. Tend to be liars. Animated and melodramatic (there’s a reason why most of the best actors are Leos)…they’re overgrown babies in the sense that they have a pathological need to have their asses kissed, they’re bossy, temperamental, and have a tendency to be arrogant and disrespectful (but don’t be this way to them, though, lmaooo). Very childish. Have a tendency to be something they’re not and truly believe that they’re more than what they actually are or ever will be, which is slightly amusing.

8. Scorpio – Ah, the sociopaths of the zodiac. I guess this would be my favourite water sign, if that’s possible. Not a fan of water signs in general, tbh…but out of all of them, you people are the only ones I can somewhat stand, for some strange reason. Probably because my mum is one, with whom I have a love-hate relationship (the only complicated relationship that I’m willing to have ever), as well as an ex-boyfriend. I’m a lot like them in the sense that there’s no room for ambiguity, either people hate you or they love you; regardless, you are who you are and that’s the way it is. As well as the fact that everything’s a state secret with them. However, if one wants brutal honesty, then like the good old Sags, these people are good for that, if nothing else. Opportunistic. Impossibly sexy. Bad to the bone. I’m a sucker for these men; most of the men I’ve “known”, whether we were in a relationship or not (including my current one) are Scorpios. Where we part ways: they (mainly the females, who are just unnecessary cunts, for the most part) are jealous, obsessive, love to be as negative as possible, have a crab-in-the-barrel mentality, and tend to be miserable and like making everyone else miserable as well. Tends to like having their asses kissed. Like all water signs, to me, life’s too short to really deal with them.

9. Cancer – Again, not a fan of water signs and Cancers are some of the reason why. A bit too moody, sensitive, temperamental, and clingy for my taste. Passive-aggressive. Possessive and needy. The females seem to be quite jealous of other females for some odd reason. The men tend to be kinda wishy-washy childish mama’s boys. Protective of those they love and care about, which is nice. Homebodies. Home. Like all water signs, they tend to think they’re billy badasses more than they are and their insecurity drives them to bully folks just to feel good about themselves, which is quite pathetic. These guys are crazy, but they have great music taste, good with money, and are kind of manipulative…the ones born in July tend to be temperamental as fuck. I’ve not gotten along with one ever (which is curious, since I am one), my associate’s boyfriend is one, and he’s a bitch; I have an older half-sister who’s one. To put it succinctly, we no longer speak. But, on the other hand, you guys tend to fly under the radar a bit, so I guess a scant few of them all are actually alright.

10. Virgo – Don’t really get the big deal about these people. I respect their propensity to be analytical, attention to detail and hard working natures, but other than that, you guys are completely irritating; a couple of colleagues are Virgos. They tend to be more sensitive than they like to let on (hence their moodiness), when jealous or self-conscious, they tend to act childish by getting angry and saying things they don’t mean. High maintenance. Self-serving. Also quite opportunistic. Martyr complex. Loves intellectual hair-splitting. Too much insecurity and bullshitting around with you all. Prides themselves on being harshly critical of everything and everyone, but if you tell them about their bullshit then they want to play victim and can’t handle it. People who can’t take their own medicine I don’t respect. Fussy and persnickety as hell; nitpicks everything and are often impossible to please and cowardly. They think the world should stop for them. Liars. Sneaky and shady as fuck. Doesn’t breathe unless it’s planned out thoroughly in advance. Tries too hard to be perfect and omnipotent. I’m sure OCD runs rampant in this sign as well. Control freaks, just like Scorpio. They will self-obsess over their imperfections (and are very quick to point out others’) and think they’re right all the time. Especially applies to those born in September.

11. Pisces –  Again, I truly don’t get the big deal about these people either. At all. Emotionally exhausting. Victim complex. Very artistic and musical, however. Creative. An ex-roommate and former friend are this sign. The main reason why water signs repel me. Evil as hell because they’re disasters who always project their own insecurities onto everyone. Like all water signs, they start drama and then expect you to feel sorry for them. Manipulative. They never take responsibility for their actions, and hide behind gullible people. Spineless. Feels the need to test people (like Scorpios and Aries) and be quarrelsome, then loves to turn around and play the victim (which they do exceptionally well), which is completely pathetic. Indecisive. Indirect. Adores getting offended, just like Virgos. Very passive-aggressive. Easily led. Disingenuous. Emotions/moodiness > logic. They live in a dream world, thinking everything revolves around them. They just annoy the crap out of me. Too co-dependent and (possibly due to low self-esteem) likes to suck the strength from others to validate themselves because they have none of their own. Tend to be harsh in order to overcompensate for how hypersensitive they actually are, which is exasperating. Tends to overreact and are way too emotional, reactive, and sensitive for me to deal with. February Pisceans = barely tolerable (I love you Rihanna); March Pisceans= pieces of shit.

12. Aries – Stay in your lane perhaps? Get some therapy maybe? These people see everything as a fight or an issue, and they need to chill. A boss and a couple of co-workers are this sign. Lack of foresight. Also reactive, loves confrontations just for the sake of having confrontations. Lives for being combative. Very ram-like. Fighters. Malcontents just like Scorpios and Virgos. One of the most ignorant signs.They tend to be outgoing and extroverted generally. I associate them with the colour orange or fluorescent yellow or some other grating colour. Very fast. Very bold. Courageous. Ultra-competitive. Energetic. Dynamic. Loud. Not one to mess with. Always has the need to be right. Downright rude and childish. When volatility, rage and anger is your default emotion (Leo, ARIES, SCORPIO), I dismiss it and completely have no respect for it, since that’s the way you are, so what’s to take personally, really; I have extreme distaste for grown-ass people that insist on acting their shoe size. Quit being so fucking aggressive and pushy all the time. It’s obnoxious.